Thursday, August 01, 2019

My validation on twitter

I just got bad Mac and cheese from a barbecue place. I should be able to get the police involved I think.
When they see me, I don’t want them to recognize me by my looks.
I want to be recognized by my soul.
Get in loser, we’re going to Canada.
My checking account earned a $0.01 dividend in July if anyone's looking for a sugar momma.
Me: oh fuck yea bro pour some sugar on me
Barista: can u please stop saying that
The first time I saw Jerry Garcia and the Dead I was in high school. A girl from my school bought the tix, asked me to go and brought the joints. In retrospect I wonder if she hoped that I would put out.
Parents out there naming their kids things like, Montana and Carolina and Dakota, but you never see anyone with the balls to name their kid, Idaho.
Good morning to everyone!
Except for people that don't take the Yellow Light that you could've made.
My kids like to play Tetris with the dirty dishes in the sink.
Need to show them a new game called hide the dirty dishes in the dishwasher
I purchase all my regret in bulk.
Switching lanes all crazy doesn't make you faster. We're at the same Red Light.


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