2yo: I made a poo daddy.
Me: Ok sweets, let’s change you.
*as we change the diaper*
2yo: I made this poo for grandma and grandpa.
Me: Hey, that’s cool, I’m gonna start doing dedications too!!!
she said but we’re second cousins and I said semantics
God: Dogs
Angel: Awww
God: Let’s make them itch a lot
Angel: Ok...
God: But their paws can’t reach their backs so they have to roll around all over the place to scratch. It’ll be cute.
Angel: I don’t really think that’s...
God: It’s cute.
I find it interesting that people use social media to tell people who have passed away that they miss them. If you truly missed them you’d hire a sky writing plane and put that shit on their front door.
If you have to get out of your car sideways. You are too damn close to mine.
teen sharks, hanging out at the sunken yacht, breaking windows and plugging in toasters for kicks
Judging by the way it sank beneath the waves as I stepped on it, it appears this beach disagrees as to quite how beach ready I am.
He used the My Little Pony towel.
Things just got real.
Good morning to everyone expect the prick who said American gravy is better than traditional British gravy! You can burn in Hell!
I wear flannel but I’ve never cut down a tree. I’m complicated.
Those that swallow their pride and admit their faults are the real heroes.
The right wing and the left wing make heroes of each other.
Me: Ok sweets, let’s change you.
*as we change the diaper*
2yo: I made this poo for grandma and grandpa.
Me: Hey, that’s cool, I’m gonna start doing dedications too!!!
she said but we’re second cousins and I said semantics
God: Dogs
Angel: Awww
God: Let’s make them itch a lot
Angel: Ok...
God: But their paws can’t reach their backs so they have to roll around all over the place to scratch. It’ll be cute.
Angel: I don’t really think that’s...
God: It’s cute.
I find it interesting that people use social media to tell people who have passed away that they miss them. If you truly missed them you’d hire a sky writing plane and put that shit on their front door.
If you have to get out of your car sideways. You are too damn close to mine.
teen sharks, hanging out at the sunken yacht, breaking windows and plugging in toasters for kicks
Judging by the way it sank beneath the waves as I stepped on it, it appears this beach disagrees as to quite how beach ready I am.
He used the My Little Pony towel.
Things just got real.
Good morning to everyone expect the prick who said American gravy is better than traditional British gravy! You can burn in Hell!
I wear flannel but I’ve never cut down a tree. I’m complicated.
Those that swallow their pride and admit their faults are the real heroes.
The right wing and the left wing make heroes of each other.
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