Buena Vista Social Club - Full album

The Top 10 Saul Goodman Schemes from Breaking Bad & Better Call Saul

Paadatha Paattellam by Job

GANGSTERS Mashup Ft. Mammootty | Mohanlal | Amithab | Rajini | SRK | Dil...

Naam Ada Likhna

The Bill that repealed article 370 in Kashmir

1) Multiple Twitter Accounts, Capital Punishment for Terrorism
2) Sutherland, Zo, Spidermyte, Draft2Digital, Scribd
3) Anxiety Disorders, intelligence bureau
4) Indrajal Comics, Mahapolice, Hindustan Tyres
5) Publicate.it, Ajax, Mphasis, Epicenter, MTV, girlfriends
6) Alien attacks, Dhanvantri Oil, Carbohydrates, Biography.
7) RAW, CIA, E3R, Viajaya Tutorial, Questia, Lynda, Coursera, Edx
8) Hollywood, Bollywood, Tollywood, Mollywood
9) Boxing, Krav Maga, Traditional Karate, Wu Shu, Kalaripayettu, Spetznaz, Hangaroo Doanload, @moneyballfutsie, capterra
10) Amazon Prime, Netflix, Voot, Sony Liv, Bharat Matrimony.
11) Duolingo, Bharatvani, Chairman's Bao, @CIAinstantkarma
12) Muktangan, Fergusson, Wadia, TISS, Gokhale Institute
13) Viman Nagar, Nagarvalla, Sahakarnagar
14) Gaana, Planetradiocity, Behance, Foodcontrol
15) Realplayer, Actualtests, Malayalam Reading, Fuck off/ Love you (Protection)
16) Tunein, pdfdrive, alcumus, miniclip/twitter, 5 types of exercise, malayalam news, car craft.
17) Finance studies, posting@moneyballfutsie, football coaching manual, top11, topFM, email list, keshu, maadu
18) National Digital Library of India, TOI, appu, kannan
19) BJP magazines, call center job, Facebook, spotify, instagram
20) 10 mobile apps, gym, suqyn, territorial army.

Moneyball Official Trailer 2011 Brad Pitt Movie HD

My validation on twitter

PISTOL SHRIMP: My claw snaps shut so hard, the sonic shockwave kills my prey!
MANTIS SHRIMP: My claw can hit with the force of .22 caliber bullet!
BACKSTABBER SHRIMP: C'mon, bud, your girlfriend and I are just friends!
What base is it when you hope you get hit by lightning and die
Polite grocery check out person: “Hello how are you today?”
My 7 yr old: “I’m fine but, I really wish I had hair on my chest.”
Me: ....
When Groot says “I am Groot” - I feel that.
Me: I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse.
Seabiscuit: please get me off this boat.
Rancher: *Standing on shore yelling* It's round up time!
Me: What are you rounding up at the beach?
Rancher: Sea cows
Me: Are those surfers in cowboy hats?
Rancher: Yep. Broboys.
It’s 2019 and I still don’t have a pet sloth

My validation on twitter

Shut your mouth you stupid saggy dried ass raisin titty punk ho ass female gumby lookalike before picture insult whoever told you to be yourself gave you bad advice motherfucker
Sound about right?
Bitches be everywhere
Lowkey sometimes wish I was deaf lol
Me: exercises, eats right. Loses ten pounds in six months. Breathes in essence of donut, gains it all back
Man: cuts back to two beers a night, loses ten pounds, instant abs, gets qualifying time for NY Marathon, reaches nirvana
I think Tarantino really captured how amazing it must’ve been to be able to drive quickly around Los Angeles.
Ooo thank you!
The past has no power over the present moment. ~ Eckhart Tolle
I can relate to blenders because I also scream while I'm doing my job.
Her: How can you live your life so completely detached from reality?
Me: How can you not?
Your hearts found each other.
It’s time for your hands to do the same.
if provoked, i could eat an entire brick of smoked gouda in one sitting.
Throwback Thursday to a time when dinosaurs ruled the Earth.
I don't like to brag, and it’s easy because I'm awful and I have nothing to brag about anyway.
POPULATION IN THE UK IS RISING
It is a drain on our NHS
It is a drain on our jobs
It is a drain on welfare
It is a drain on public services & roads
It is a drain on our lives!
WE NEED TO CUT NUMBERS AND STOP MORE ENTERING - RT
#UK #IMMIGRATION #BREXIT #OVERPOPULATED

My validation on twitter

My husband is passing me BBQ’ed ribs through the crack in the door where I am hiding. Because love.
Forever.
[house shopping]
Me: not this one.
Hubs: why?
Me: the above range microwave does not match the stove.
Hubs:..
Me: ʇɐɥʇ ǝʞıl ǝʌıl ʇ,uɐɔ I
The right person won't have you questioning whether or not you're worthy enough to keep them around.
Remember that.
Bad place tonight... 911, getting Chemo and Radiation in the morning and not feeling it, CRYING.
~why?
Already lost enough, mom, dad, most of my family, foreign country.
Life sometimes doesn’t make sense to me. So sad
Why ARE guys great until they need to be great? 🤔🤷🏼‍♀️
I’d like to say there’s a method to my madness....
But there’s not.
It’s just madness. And exhaustion.

My validation on Twitter

2yo: I made a poo daddy.
Me: Ok sweets, let’s change you.
*as we change the diaper*
2yo: I made this poo for grandma and grandpa.
Me: Hey, that’s cool, I’m gonna start doing dedications too!!!
she said but we’re second cousins and I said semantics
God: Dogs
Angel: Awww
God: Let’s make them itch a lot
Angel: Ok...
God: But their paws can’t reach their backs so they have to roll around all over the place to scratch. It’ll be cute.
Angel: I don’t really think that’s...
God: It’s cute.
I find it interesting that people use social media to tell people who have passed away that they miss them. If you truly missed them you’d hire a sky writing plane and put that shit on their front door.
If you have to get out of your car sideways. You are too damn close to mine.
teen sharks, hanging out at the sunken yacht, breaking windows and plugging in toasters for kicks
Judging by the way it sank beneath the waves as I stepped on it, it appears this beach disagrees as to quite how beach ready I am.
He used the My Little Pony towel.
Things just got real.
Good morning to everyone expect the prick who said American gravy is better than traditional British gravy! You can burn in Hell!
I wear flannel but I’ve never cut down a tree. I’m complicated.
Those that swallow their pride and admit their faults are the real heroes.
The right wing and the left wing make heroes of each other.

My validation on Hangaroo download

Mike Huckabee, Arkansas... The Total Woman / Marabel Morgan... My love is your love / Whitney Houston... Boss Nass... Bette... 

My validation on twitter

*packs a bowl*
Who’s in?
2yo: Mommy, you’re a pig.
*Wife, confused AF*
Me: You mean she’s Mummy Pig from Peppa Pig right?
2yo: Yessss, Mommy’s a pig!!!
In the zone
For a cheese 🧀 calzone
Thank-you 🍻😊

My validation on twitter

If you could leave it all behind, where would you go?
The Handmaid's Tale best fucking show ever !
If you sit on an empty 5 gallon bucket that has a lid on it and fart real hard the reverb is outstanding. In case anyone needs to know that.
I'm hoping that my love will keep you up tonight...
In need of a marriage counselor.
My husband screws EVERY lid on WAY too tight.
AND he claims I never screw them on tight enough.
We both think we're right, but we all know who's right.
Me. It's me.
I lost 5 pounds this week so should I celebrate with a dozen donuts or a Wendy’s #1 Meal Large?
Keep an open mind  ~A Peaceful Life
Me: I’m the most patriotic American you’ll ever meet.
Canadian friend: We have legal marijuana, universal health care, cheap prescription drugs and up to a year and a half of paid maternity leave.
Me: *applies for Canadian citizenship*

My validation on downloaded Hangaroo

Amman, Jordan... Robb Report... The Love Machine / Jacqueline Susann... Many are called but few are chosen... Antlia... 

My validation on twitter

I just got bad Mac and cheese from a barbecue place. I should be able to get the police involved I think.
When they see me, I don’t want them to recognize me by my looks.
I want to be recognized by my soul.
Get in loser, we’re going to Canada.
My checking account earned a $0.01 dividend in July if anyone's looking for a sugar momma.
Me: oh fuck yea bro pour some sugar on me
Barista: can u please stop saying that
The first time I saw Jerry Garcia and the Dead I was in high school. A girl from my school bought the tix, asked me to go and brought the joints. In retrospect I wonder if she hoped that I would put out.
Parents out there naming their kids things like, Montana and Carolina and Dakota, but you never see anyone with the balls to name their kid, Idaho.
Good morning to everyone!
Except for people that don't take the Yellow Light that you could've made.
My kids like to play Tetris with the dirty dishes in the sink.
Need to show them a new game called hide the dirty dishes in the dishwasher
I purchase all my regret in bulk.
Switching lanes all crazy doesn't make you faster. We're at the same Red Light.

Posting my validation from Twitter

I'm hiding from life.
Let's go have coffee.
*Me, to anyone who will listen.
can we stop screwing around and just build the entire plane out of black box? we have the technology
Nothing triggers me to move faster than a tickling sensation on my bare skin because it makes more sense to believe it's a death spider and not a loose hair.
”Hur ska alla få tillgång till en bra vård?”
Det går inte.
I had a long list of traits I sought when I was younger.
Now I have two.
Make me laugh.
Don't make me feel invisible.
The truth is, most days I’m trying really hard to survive myself.
Yells to my family from the kitchen, “That was the mustard squeeze bottle!”
I miss the days when people said, “I’m gonna take you to pound town” and it meant something.
Child: *excitedly* Ass eaters!
Teacher: er, ......... for the last time those fish are called bottom feeders!
If by "date," you mean swing by Wendy's for six chocolate cookies then fall asleep in front of the Pokemon movie, then buddy, I'm already four cookies ahead of you.
There's not a lot more annoying than an overplayed song you hate come on the radio and you can't stop that toe from tapping..
Next bunghole who comments on my tweets for suggestions on what wording I should have used will get muted and/or up to blocked depending on the level of fuckwad they throw my way.\
I miss the squirrels these days when they’re always at the beach.
doctor: your husband's gone to a better place
wife: [sobbing] really
doctor: yes [placing hand on shoulder] in europe healthcare is free
You ever just wanna, I dunno, save all the animals from selfish human behavior?
Daughter: "I don't want a chicken burger. I just want the chicken and the cheese and the ketchup.
Me: "So not the bread"?
Daughter: "...and the bread."
Me:
I told nostalgia the elevator was full but it squeezed in anyway. I planned to get off two floors early and it pressed all the buttons. I went to the wrong meeting and it presented strong fourth quarter earnings. I gave up and ordered two martinis. I was my business.
Cry me a river
Burp me a mountain
Cough me a cloud
Hiccup me a hillside
Fart me a forest
Our savage gang prowls your city at night, performing guerilla acts of kindess, leaving signs of goodness in places you’re not looking yet.
Me: I’d like to join the frequent restroom users club.
Doctor: Urine
I’ve reheated this coffee up so many times it’s starting to taste like Chernobyl.
Mood: What unnecessary crap can I buy off Amazon today?
On a business trip again, and I mistakenly brought the kids’ travel toothpaste.
Now I have clean teeth in my smile, a bubblegum taste in my mouth, and a lump in my throat.
Get out loser, I never told you to get in in the first place
It's 2019; I think it's time we start calling them merhousekeepers.
[my experimental submarine begins to take on water 2,000 feet under the sea/I pull up the high-tech satellite comms for final words to loved ones and anyone who may find my last, heartfelt message]
Me [violently typing during Yelp review]: 1/5 this sushi place is bullshit
I apparently said “keratin” instead of “ketamine” when discussing treatment options with my psychiatrist, so the bad news is that I remain a terminal depressive, but wow, my frizz is really well controlled.

Documenting my validation on Hangaroo Download

Great Wall of China... Zagreb, Croatia... Florida Panthers... The Lost World / Michael Crichton... Ruth Malcolmson (1924)...  Hack Wilson... Lisa Kudrow... The Martyred / Richard Kim... Rialto Bridge... Laurel Schaefer (1972)... Desperado / The Eagles...Harry Hooper... Allergic Rhinitis... Man on the corner / Genesis... Helium... David Berkowitz... Anaheim Angels... Princess Anne... Amazon Rainforest... Thomas Riley Marshall... Chicago Bulls... Shadow Raiders... Digimon: Digital Monsters... The Partner / John Grisham... Mackenzie Bowell... Anatolian... When driving Mickey Mouse sings cartunes... One week / Barenaked Ladies... Conjunctivitis... Dazed and confused / Led Zeppelin... Oldsmobile Aurora... Out of ones element... Hummer... Des Moines, Iowa... Benjamin Cayetano, Hawaii... Ordovician Period... Planet of the apes... Gemstone Therapy... Michelle Pfeiffer (1989)... Gary Cooper (1943)... Bill Klem... Growing Pains... You can bet your bottom dollar... Walter Frederick Mondale... Evelyn Ay (1954)... I believe I can fly / R. Kelly... T & C Tower... ~The Lost World / Michael Crichton.

Documenting my play... Hangaroo Download

Nettilling... My love is your love / Whitney Houston... British Shorthair... Croissants... Beginning gardeners work by trial and error... Statue of Zeus at Olympia... James Buchanan... Boot Camp... A tall man isn't always of high standing... Rollie Fingers... Surgery Antiseptic (1867)... Younger than yesterday... Quark's Place... Dustin Hoffman (1997)... Taipei, Taiwan... As the crow flies... The star-spangled banner

Set my alarm to guv'nor this morning.

A family member made fun of my clip on sunglasses and I am too old to be upset about it.

My daughter just tried to catch her fart with her hand. I do not know what she is going to do with it and I do not want to know. 

It is one of those feminine mysteries.

Your stupidity never fucking ceases, huh? It’s impressive, really.

Plot twist: You’re the creepy one not your reply guy.

Forgive and forget sounds nice, but to save time I go straight to forgetting.

Was my wife's birthday yesterday - Nooo... I did not forget - She did

A new study says morning exercise leads to more weight loss. For some of us just getting up, coffered, shaved, showered and dressed is about all we have time and energy to do most week days.

You know what else releases endorphins?

CHEESE!

Sorry I chased you down and tried to get your attention at that red light. I wanted to inform you that your white, leather, driving gloves really bring out the green of your mini van.

You think feelings are a form of weakness, you are terrified to be vulnerable. Little do you know, that is where the magic happens.

So far I have no notion what Scottish people are like since I can barely understand a native word!

Some may not know but I am a liberal snowflake feminist but fuck, people some things are just jokes. I don’t have my 15 year old pick up drunk me and Uber me home. It’s a joke FFS. 

I have my 20 year old Uber me home when I’m drunk. 

Lighten the fuck up.

Big sale at the dad store

Dollar a pop

My family arranging my open casket funeral: 

Here’s a picture of how we all remember her. Can you make her resemble this? 

Mortician: This is a printout of the eye roll emoji.

At a Devo audition: Whip It Good, Crack That - Umm... the pot goes on your head... dude

Third rule of woman club:

If he does not adjust his attitude accordingly during your menses try planning family get togethers during the World Stanley Bowl Series.

People who want to live forever are the real psychopaths

Hors d'oeuvre? Should be More d’oeuvre because i would sure like some more pigs in a blanket

When you are so fatigued of trying to help someone else find their own light, yours dim with exhaustion.

The love that makes you pack a bug-out bag.

Woke up filled with the rage of a million offended millennials.

Secret Agent is not in my idiom. Secret archivist maybe. Secret Actuary if the math isnt too hard.

Out of Office Alert: I am technically in the office today but lets just be cool and pretend that I am not

My wife came home with a new bob haircut...so, I’m assuming she’s an Aon sales rep now.

There is an unmarked law enforcement vehicle parked off to the side behind my neighbor’s house........ just sitting there in my line of sight from where I am chillin’ on my patio.

I feel eyes on me. Did I make too many jokes about killing people?

I might need bail money.

Its 2019 and I still do not have a swipe-y swipe computer like Tom Cruise in Minority Report.

When you love someone, you simply cannot play with her heart.

7: mummy if you had a superpower what would it be?

Me: appearing to be sober before I put you all to bed

just vote in the person with the biggest face, simple. If god did not want them to lead us he would not have made their face so big

It was not my appendix or an aneurysm, so I guess tomorrow then, again.

i just analyze stuff

~Gopal Chandu